Thursday, August 23, 2012

Tomahawk Chopping -- Forgive Me for this One

Here's an interesting tidbit.  I would have been 13, 14 years old back when the Pirates lost consecutive National League Championship Series to the tomahawk chopping Atlanta Braves.  But I lived in Baltimore.  I wasn't a Pirates fan at all, I didn't have anything to do with Pittsburgh sports.  I was rooting for guys like Chris Hoiles and Mike Deveraux -- the Baby Birds.  I was living in a city without a football team and waking up at 7am Sunday mornings to watch Dutch League Soccer on ESPN2 -- way, way before watching European Soccer became trendy.   My brother and I would wake up at 7am to watch Feyenoord or Ajax play Einhoven or something like that.  Anyway, I was the same kind of sports fan then that I am now -- I loved the big story, the highest level of competition, who- or what-ever was achieving greatness, that's what I liked. I loved Barry Bonds, I can remember that.  Stay with me now. I also loved the Braves' story, going worst to first, but more on that later.

My little league pitching form = Tim Lincecum
This also happened to be the height of my own baseball career. I played pitcher and shortstop for the Towson Recreation Council Pony League Champion Rockies in the Summer of '92, my last great baseball season.  Josh Beck and I even threw a no hitter.

My Rotisserie League team, the Picklenoses, named after a line in The Humpty Dance, reigned supreme.  It wasn't even called fantasy baseball yet.  It was Rotisserie league.  The newspaper printed all the boxscores.  Every Sunday they printed the season totals, and you had to write your players' stats out on paper and add up their homeruns, RBIs, stolen bases, and batting averages yourself.  Luke Winternitz even did his stats on the back of a pizza box one week.  It was during the '92 season that I convinced my brother to trade me Barry Bonds for Andre Dawson. Make no mistake, I ruled the "Conneri" League -- so named for its founding families, the Connollys and Valeris.

My Dad occasionally traveled to Atlanta for work, and he would bring us souvenirs.  The Braves had just gone from worst to first in '91 and lost the World Series in 7 games to the (also worst-to-first) Minnesota Twins.  One day Dad showed up with foam tomahawks, which, I have to admit, were pretty cool.  We even pulled out the old batting helmet souvenir ice cream bowls for the Braves and Twins series.  So, without having any particular rooting interest, I found it easy to root for the Braves.
Yep, I had one, and used it

Pirates fans, you have to forgive me for this.  I was just a kid rooting for the moment.  I didn't care about either team.  But there we would sit, rhythmically waving the foam tomahawks, doing the chop, ohhhh-oh-ohh-whooaa-ohh-oh-oh-ohhhh-whoooaaa. OHHHH-OH-OHH-WHOOAA-OHH-OH-OH-OHHH-WHOOOAAA!  How could you not root for Francisco Cabrera, a guy who had like 10 total at bats that entire season? Yes I did just say that.  I did just say I did the tomahawk chop and rooted for little Franky Cabrera in my basement.  If that forever taints me in the eyes of Pittsburgh fans, too bad.  Besides, by the time he came up to bat the Pirates were doomed.  Everyone wants to blame Barry Bonds on that last play for not throwing out Sid Bream -- yes it might have been possible to get the runner out at the plate with a sharp and accurate throw.  But let me remind you of a few things.  That was just the last, not the worst, play.

Error!
Jose Lind made an error in that inning.  An actual fielding error. Bonds just failed to throw out a runner from second who was running on the pitch with 2 outs on a 3-2 count. How many guys have you ever seen thrown out at the plate on a 2-out single to left field on a 3-2 pitch?  Also, if Stan Belinda is your closer, you're screwed. He gave up the actual hit.  So I tip my hat to Francisco Cabrera, but now I root for the Pirates.  What can I say...

I'm not a native Pittsburgher. A lot of people who come here from out of town for college end up leaving again, but I stayed and continue to work at CMU. I was always a general sports fan, but gradually became a Pittsburgh sports fan. In life, I'm a fan of much more than just sports -- so I don't live and die by any team.  It's entertainment.  But I'm serious about my entertainment, and I have very high standards. There's not much more entertaining than high caliber professional sports.  Pittsburgh teams are as good as it gets.  Each Pittsburgh sports team has won me over in its own way. But let's be honest, they did it with winning -- winning in general and winning championships. The players, the teams, the games, the storylines draw you in, then the championships hook you for life -- just like the Steelers did in the 1970's to gain a national following.  Now I am all Pixburgh, black and gold, french fries on the salad.

I didn't even like football until about 2003. Hockey, please, I thought that was even worse. But I understand how great it is to have excellent franchises to root for.  I've come to learn that having  a great sports tradition and great teams to root for shouldn't be taken for granted. These teams cultivate a culture of winning and pride in their profession. I'm smart enough to understand when someone like Sidney Crosby comes along. If I was in Chicago in the early nineties and didn't like basketball, I would have been smart enough to check out Michael Jordan, you know?  So these great teams, with legitimate super stars and championship runs, with great leadership and great performance, won me over, year by year.  What they provide is the highest quality sports entertainment experience.  There is nothing better. It's totally worth my time, money, and emotional investment.  And it's fun!

I'm the kind of fan that thinks
Roethlisberger is more important
than defense ;-)
Even Pitt football, which sucks, gave me a defining moment in the 100th Backyard Brawl in 2007. The first time I ever watched a college football game, the 28 1/2 point underdog Panthers upset the number 2 ranked Mountaineers 13-9, to cost West Virginia a chance to play in the BCS National Championship Game. That's also a testament to me as a spectator.  I know what to watch, what to follow, what to engage with.  I had never watched a single college football game in my life, but I knew this was going to be good.  Although this is one I didn't watch, even the Pittsburgh Passion won the NWFA Championship in 2007. Yet over at PNC Park, the best stadium in the country, the best thing going on is Oliver Onion vs. Jalapeno Hannah and Nate McLouth bobblehead give-aways.  At least it used to be. At least it was ever since the stadium opened on the North Shore...

So here I am 20 years later, a fully converted Pittsburgh fan, 20 years after I was tomahawk chopping, 20 years since the teenage prime of my playing career. Is this the start of the prime of my spectating career? My fantasy team -- now the Penn Picklenoses -- is still in first place*.  I'm still fielding grounders (on the intramural softball field and PSL kickball diamonds).  And guess who the Pirates play the final series of 2012. Guess who might be the final hurdle along the road to a possible playoff birth, the last team the Pirates face in a season that promises to end the 19 year losing streak. ohhhh-oh-ohh-whooaa-ohh-oh-oh-ohhhh-whoooaaa. The Atlanta Braves. October 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, the last 3 games of the year. As long as Clint Hurdle doesn't call on Stan Belinda to save any of those games, I think the Pirates have a chance.


* Depending on when you read this, the Picklenoses may or may not actually be in first place, as the Greenlake Goons have stepped up the competition.  It's a two team race.

2 comments:

  1. Very well described. Vis-a-vis Dutch league football, was your favorite player Jari Litmanen? Or perhaps Ed de Goey? Always was enjoyable watching those dudes :)

    As a native Pittsburgher, I have a slightly different take on the 1990-1992 Pirates question. As a 12-14 year old, I loved those teams. Their losses are, without question, burned onto my soul like no other sports disappointment. I remember as vividly as almost any other memory I have, sitting next to Bob Strunge in Glenn Hyman's 9th grade geometry class the morning after the 1992 game 7, and having him mercilessly mock me with that revolting Braves chant. I wanted to jump out the window. The heartbreak of that stupid game.

    A recent disclosure makes that game all the worse. And, makes Bonds out to be an even bigger villain than anyone could have even known. Last year I read an interview with Andy Van Slyke, the centerfielder of those Pirates teams. He recounted that, with two outs in Game 7, and with Bream on 2nd, he signaled to Bonds to play in. Obviously, the worst thing that could happen would be to have a ground ball hit to the outfield where the outfielder is playing back. Obviously, you want to give yourself the maximum chance to throw the runner out. What was Bonds' reaction to Van Slyke's order to move in? Did he do it? UMMMMMMM no. Instead, according to Van Slyke, Bonds looked at him, gave him the finger and stayed put. So yes, Lind made an error and all that. But I blame Bonds. I blame Bonds for not hitting, for not driving in any runs, for not stealing any bases, and for failing to follow instructions that very well could have sent the game into extra innings. But I'm a Bonds hater. When SF won the World Series, I was of course happy for my cousins who live out there. But I was especially happy that the Giants won AFTER Bonds had been exiled to oblivion. He never experienced a championship of any form.

    One of these decades, the Pirates will make it to the World Series. But that won't erase the still-felt agony of 1992.

    And, I remember your Rotisserie dominance. By contrast, I think I may have been the all time worst participant....

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