Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the fucking Pirates were on the other side and the goddamn chicken wanted to sweep those motherfuckers!!!
Absolute garbage. Purely putrid. Regurgitation.
As go the Pirates, so goes the Orange Kickball Squad (aka the PumKings). Yesterday we (minus Gravely, Sylanski, Booth, Orenich, and Thovson) allowed 8 runs in the first inning and lost by the mercy rule a half hour into the affair. It reminded me of the your Buccos, allowing untold first inning runs with runners on the base paths running rampant. Absolutely rampant.
So today we put together a nice crew of young urban professionals to head over to the late afternoon 4 o'clock game -- you know, the businessman's special. By the time we had our tickets in hand the Pirates were already losing 3-0. We were still in the process of texting each other to meet up by the time the Pirates had relinquished a seemingly insurmountable early lead. It was already 4 to nothing as we sat outside Dominic's pounding domestic beers (and the occasional gin and tonic). Boooo.
But your battling Bucs made a game of it. As we continued to get schwilly your Bucs fought back. Andrew McCutchen went yard to bring the game back within reach. The Pirates even took a lead. We were in our seats crunching peanuts and sippin' brews as the Pirates went ahead 7-4.
But that lasted about two and a half minutes. The Pirates are, if you didn't already know, officially garbage. Under .500. Another losing season. Deep, so deep, into the tank. Absolute, irreconcilable garbage.
